Love

It's been a while. Hello blogger.

I didn't write much on here over the past one year. More often, it's facebook posts since emotion are fragmented. I mainly write about my emotions, how I learn to observe it over its course. There are times I felt like a winner by getting over it. There are times I felt like a loser by letting it get the best of me. The good thing through all of that is not winning or losing but I learn to observe and understand emotion is part of me but it's not me. Slowly we all learn that if we observe anyone/anything close enough, long enough then we realize they are like us. Even for the ones we have not the best feelings for. It is true that we see in others is the reflection of ourselves. I found that hard to believe at first but human is amazingly capable of everything. I might hate something in someone first but maybe that part is the part I would like to deny of myself. When I look deep and learn to embrace it then life gets easier.

I got to be my friend of my emotions. I figure that's the only way to go because fighting it is just making it worse. It will relapse no matter how strong you are. It's naturally coded. But fighting is also nature since we hate the worse we see in us and don't accept it. Easy as it may sound but look when you are angry, how do you get over that? Not easy. You don't get over. You pamper it but don't act on it. So it goes. Too much for a Kurt Vonnegut's quote.

I've been in a whirlwind year. Lots of changes. I was much out of my comfort zone to the point that I grew to be more confident. Yet, somehow at the same time I felt myself was in much triggering thoughts than I used to be. I think too much. I act too much. I am not at peace. And in that most vulnerable moment, people picked me up with their kindness. Not too big deal but I felt I was cared for regardless of who I am.  From my family to the strangers (almost) to friends. It was ranging from a cup of coffee to an accompany or to just an ears. What we need is really simple. Whom we trust is whom we can strip bear our souls. So I learn to love and receive love as well. Only love can heal. Am I repeating the fact?

It's true that people only remember what they feel. At the end of the day, I still feel loved. Thank you for everything.