So long independence

I grew up believing in being independence. That as a woman I could do it all. Doing it all is a pride. Keep going and never give up is a must. Independence is a magic, a virtue that every woman in modern day should strive for.

Independence means so much work. And I have worked hard for it. Being the role model I wanted to be without really looking inside what I really wanted to be. I got my degree, I got my job, I live in a new city away from home. I never stopped improving myself.

Then something changed. There was this constant battle inside that forced me to lay bear. It hurts to be perfect. It hurst to be whom you thought you were but not. It hurts to realize all that effort was to impress, to prove yourself with others but yourself was not aware. There was a lot of battles to fight. I took all in and then released all out. I felt like being shattered. It's a painful process. I am still at it but at the same time I feel being reborn as now I am looking at myself only with all that vulnerability. I learned to let go.

So now I am not worshipping independence anymore. I think I am kind of both: dependent and independent. It just comes to me. I don't have to choose which side to be with anymore.