Birth

I am writing this piece at 2am when my baby is sleeping and I am in a pumping session. All made possible by a hands-free breast-pump. Better late than never I guess. 

So here we go a reflection of the year end. Brand new is the key word.  A brand new baby and brand new mama. We’ve been together for almost 3 months. From rocking him to sleep for a few hours to putting him to sleep independently (almost!) for the whole night, mama is now having the time for her own. For the first time I feel like I can enjoy a moment of peace with my baby since he was born. Yesterday I was able to look at the sunset with him before putting him to bed for the night.  Lots of building with the pinkish sky as the canvas. Down there, cars moved slowly as people have been out for the holidays. It seemed quiet and relaxing. I am pretty sure he wasn't feeling that as the crankiness before bedtime just arrived. 

My first massage client :)

Needless to say my daily schedule is all about the boy. Feeding, burping, nappies change, napping, massage and bath and then bed time. My party only starts after 7pm when he is down for the night. Watching Netflix while pumping has become my night routine and then go to sleep.  Looking back, first month was horrible with all that struggle from milk supply to taking care of the baby.  Second month is a bit better where I got to figure out how to survive and glad I did with all the help from family and friends. I love the visit actually as my friends helped me bit to bit from feeding him to nursing him to sleep or just sharing their experiences, encouraging me to let go. And the fact is that I am not afraid to be who I am, talk shit and show how stellar I look in front of them is already a therapy session. I remember when the lady who came over to give Tom a bath, I was able to share with her my struggle and she helped me take care of baby for 30 minutes and that felt good. My family even flew over from Hanoi to help me for a few weeks. Baby brings family together indeed. So in retrospect, it's been a life changing experience. 

Now he is almost 3 months and showing us a little attitude already. Yet seeing him smile and ah goo with us kinda made all the struggle worth it. It's gonna be a long journey but glad it's already started. I've become a mom now.